Have you ever felt uncomfortable shopping for dance shoes in a store?
Adult dancers face many challenges, and one of them is quietly accepting other people’s prejudice. Part of us is proud to dance. The other part has absorbed the idea that we are too old for it.
I was having lunch with dance friends from different corners of the world when the conversation turned to dance shops. Their stories surprised me.
One friend told us she kept buying pointe shoes online and sending them back. Someone asked her, “Why wouldn’t you just go to the shop?” She answered, “I’m too embarrassed. It would be awkward, because I am too old.”
Another friend described asking for help in a well-known shop. The assistant replied, “How old is your daughter?”, assuming the dancer must be a child. My friend has avoided dance shops ever since.
My friend’s husband had a simple suggestion: complain to the store manager, the owner or the brand’s headquarters. Nobody at the table ever had.
That stayed with me. Maybe, by staying silent, we help keep alive the very prejudices we are trying to leave behind.
More adult dancers are taking up dance, and more studios are opening classes for adults of every age. Yet many of us still avoid the shops, or swallow the funny looks and say nothing.
How much have you put up with without saying a word? Is it right for people serving dancers to make anyone feel uncomfortable with assumptions, loaded questions or stares?
Please share your story. And if you have met kind, encouraging sellers, tell us about them too. They deserve a mention.